I’m currently sitting on my bed with my laptop. I just got done eating lunch (mac + cheese) and working a full morning.
Why am I sitting on the bed you ask?
Well… I feel like crying.
And I don’t want to sit at my desk and cry, so here I am, with pillows and a cat on hand, just in case.
Why do I feel like crying?
I am overwhelmed. Not with tasks or projects, I reined that in a few weeks ago. I am overwhelmed with the road ahead of me.
I’ve been building The Yarnpreneur Society + Academy for almost 2 years now, and it’s been a tough road. I’m completely self-funded, and self-run. I have a few very part time team members, and the load they lifted was immense… but there’s still so much that rests on my shoulders.
And while I wouldn’t even recognize the person I was when I started (or the company we were when we started for that matter) I still feel like I have so far to go before I am “successful”.
I’ll be honest with you, I grew up thinking success was almost entirely, if not entirely, monetary.
Like many millennials, the prevailing social pressure was to do well in school, get a good degree, find a “good” job, and settle in for the rest of your life.
Like many millennials, I realized that was neither what I wanted nor something that was achievable. (Considering the economy, etc.)
And while the desire to have a “real job” was nonexistent in me, the desire to be successful (read: make lots of money) was very strong.
If only to show them that I could do it.
I love playing the rebel.
Of course I knew it would be a hard road to create a financially successful company I could be proud of (and that could pay my bills).
I guess I just didn’t realize how hard. All I want to do is create resources that matter to people, that make a difference, but I’m stuck figuring out how to build a technologically complex members site, how to market to my audience, and how to fund help.
And that brings me to now. Because even though I’ve spent the entire morning trying to decide if I should switch membership plugins and what that would mean for my members (and even though that seemingly Herculean task made me want to cry) I can’t help but be grateful and excited.
Over 10 years ago when my grandmother started teaching me how to crochet, I would never have guessed this is where it would lead me.
I tried from the age of 16 to 25 to build a business from any passion of mine I could find.
I tried Disney World, dance, books, and more.
None of them worked. It wasn’t the right time, it wasn’t the right passion, I wasn’t ready.
But now I am. I can’t explain how strongly I feel about what I do every day. I can’t put into words what it feels like to know you’re on the right path… even if it’s a hard road to travel.
And this is where I get to you.
You will have days where you doubt. You will have days where you feel like crying, or giving up, or changing course because it’s easier than going through the rough patch.
You will have days where you doubt if you’re going the right way.
When you do, promise me this: you will not give up. Cry, take the day off, throw some yarn around, but don’t give up.
Because as hard as the downs can be, the ups are amazing. And they’re worth it.